Wow - it's been so long since I last posted!
My last chemo was a bit rough - it took me ages to get over it and then juuuuuust as I was about to human again I got sick :(
A beeeeg thank you to Gary, Aretha, Russel, Jacqui, Adrian , Warren and Johan for doing the Darling Half marathon. Yes I am greatful for the money you all raised but with all that aside it means so much that you guys all just ran for me and supporting Gary. I was so happy I could be there to support you all. I was horribly sick that night but was worth it. The support really is overwhelming and I still can't believe it at times. You really do discover true angels in this position.
Just 2 more chemos...I cringe just thinking about it. It's getting so bad that the colour red even makes me want to hurl -because the colour of the chemo is red (hence red devil).
My beloved friend Helen (who was diagnosed the exact same as me and very similar in age) and I are considering doing the Argus next year. After I am finished this treatment I am going to start looking for a bike and getting fit again. I owe it to myself and I defo want to get rid of all this excess weight that all the steroids and cortisone have caused. I feel like a representative of the Oros Man!

nerves and then some more

Tomorrow is a beeeeeg day!

I have my first CT scan since being on this treatment - lets just say I am super nervous. I know the results will be positive ones simply because I can feel the primary site getting smaller treatment by treatment - however I don't know whats going on further than that in my liver and under my arm amongst the nodes. All I can do is pray for the best response ever. I am half way through and hopefully the good response will just persist going on (until nothing is there would be great!)

After my scan I see my oncologist so we can review the results and chat further about whats happening.

and after all that excitememt I will be going to malpractice lawyers - with doing some research with several attornerys we have been told that we have quite a good case and we should not leave this alone whatsoever.

My dad managed to find some malpractice lawyers. No payments are made which is great. Should we win they take a cut of the outcome however which I do not mind whatsoever. I have been thinking about this all time and time again and have often thought I should just leave it due to having to concentrate on the good around me but the more I think of this doctor the more I want to put up a fight. No matter what doctor you are - should a patient come to you with a worrying lump you have to investiugate it no matter what. All he had to do was send me for a scan. Should he have done that - I would most probably be well on my way to recovery - maybe even stage 1 cancer. Thats what makes me angry...

Crossing fingers for the next 24hrs

Wednesday is our quiz evening - should anybody be interested please contact me. We really could do with the support!!

Alas - Thursday is chemo day - I feel green just thinking about it -bleaugh!

Onward we plod

Half way mark is done and dusted as from last week Tuesday - it feels like I am climbing a hill and as I am looking up the hill it's making me feel so tired just seing whats left. 

I know I'm getting great results so just have to tough it out. 3 more left!!

Last weeks nausea was ok - my better half was looking after me because he was off. Got served plenty of toast and Ginger Beer -thanks babe!! I am still feeling a bit naar at times but it's manageable I must say.

Quite a few things happening this month - CT scan, Breast Buddies Quiz (thanks to those who have shown support - still have loads of tickets available!!), Cacer Survivor Forum at the Civic Centre, my chemo (bleagh) and a few days later Gary Phillips is running the Darling Marathon for me - Bless your heart Gary. You're such an angel. The support and care and wanting to help just continues throughout. I am hoping and praying that I am well enough (I have chemo 2 days before) to go and see the race and see Gary finish the race and packing up our home.

I am so happy - my loved one and 2 furry 'kiddies' are moving to a new home. Our lease has ended and we have decided to move to something more secure, a semi detatched house with 2 bedrooms and a garden. So excited and so happy I don't have to climb several flights of stairs anymore -yay!!! By the time I get half way I have to rest. Chemo really runs your body down!

On my way to work this morning I was thinking about all the people and friends that I have gained through this experience. Mainly friends who have also been through or currently fighting the battle of cancer as well. There is nothing more empowering than that - especially my dear friend Helen. She is currently going through the trials which I did and she has the exact same diagnosis as me - Left breast cancer and leisons in the liver. Our doctors put us in contact with eacg other because we are both so young and could benefit from each other. It has helped so much keeping in contact with her - just as positive so we tend to motivate each other and get each other through.

Thanks and more

The past week has been one amazing week – Wednesday specifically to be exact.

My work held a rather fabulous fundraiser for me at the Barnyard theatre. I feel so in awe

Every time I think back to it…..I get all emotional again…

I really did not expect too many people to be there to be honest – I was simply blown away by the outcome. It is so amazing to have So many people that care – it’s made my journey so much better and positive. I sincerely believe that half the battle is Already won once you have that conquered (positivity that is).

Before the age of 30 a young woman would never expect to go through the hurdles of chemotherapy x2, loosing your hair, having a

Double mastectomy done, reconstruction, radiation and possibly RFDA. I’m going to conquer it all!! Watch this space people!!!

Last week I approached my better half saying I wanted to shave my head – of all people he had been putting me off thinking I was going to Regret it because I wasn’t loosing it like the typical ‘patient’ – Instead my hair was thinning ever so gradually making me look like a crazy baby chic

With hair about 20 different lengths sticking out everywhere. After bathing it would take me about 30 mins to ‘de hair’ myself from the bath. It was Driving me crazy so I asked him if he would help me shave it. I thought I would be an emotional mess but I felt so much better and I think Nigel did 2. It felt empowering to an extent – like you’re getting the best of it all. I hid my head for a day or 2 but it turns out Nigel quite likes it. We look like 2 peas in a pod now – both with shaved heads :p In a way it’s kind of nice to not have the chore of taking a while to wash and dry my hair and I can take away the expense of shampoo, treatments and conditioner :p (you have to look at the silver lining :p ) I now have quite a nice new ‘do’ that everyone likes. I must say I am not used to having hair in my face all the time (hence the wearing a beanie to keep it out of my face and keep my neck from not being so hot)

I had the weirdest thing happen to me last Friday – I all of a sudden got this terrible fever and felt so extremely nauseas with a really sore stomach. I raced home – got myself under 3 mounds of blanket and a hot water bottle. I was still freezing!! I thought I was coming down with flu – thankfully by early hours of the next morning I woke up feeling myself again. Apparently it’s a symptom of chemo. How nice…after a week and a half of having chemo when you think the worst is over. Chemo – the gift that keeps on giving. Go figure huh…

I would have thought I’d have a bit of rest with the public hols but alas – my chemo is scheduled for the 26^th of this month. Slap bang in the middle of it all. How nice…I suppose I’ll be ½ way through at least J Always look at the silver lining….

1 of the many tables of supporters

my boss myself and all at RE/MAX head office (as well as founders)

The 'Stars' of The Show

My Man and myself

some of my friends

Friends

another table

one of the tables

Red Devil no. 2 -aaaaaaalmost half way there...

Day 4 of Chemo No. 2 - I feel like sh*t  :( I have been so emotional and not knowing what to do with myself for the last 3 days - I am just getting so frustrated. I lay in bed as much as possible because the less I move around the better I tend to feel on the nausea side of things. Suppose it's a never ending cycle really. I hope to get back to normality as soon as possible so I can feel myself again.

I was supposed to have had chemo last week Wednesday but shockingly I got a call on Tuesday saying 'sorry your blood results are bad - we resceduling you to next Monday'. Being called about a simple blood test feels like you have failed a major exam or something. It's so weird...Not a lot of people will understand it for what it is but it's such a dissapointment at the end of the day. You mentally psyche yourself up soooo much only to hit a brick wall. Doof!! I relaxed for the next 2 days as well as the weekend and then when Friday came around again I had my 2nd set of blood tests done. Only Monday did I find out that I passed this time so on went my day for going for Chemo.

I first visited my Oncologist for a follow up appointment. On sitting down she asks me ' so how much do you hate me right now?'. I told her that I thought the chemo was extremely grueling and her exact description was perfectly suited - ' you're going to feel like you have 1 hell of a bad hangover for about 4-5 days'. Turns out that chemo no1 was in fact given to me on a much milder dose. Hmpf.... (imagine my excitement to start chemo in the next hour or so).

My doctor examined me and she immediately could see that the tumour had shrunk. She seems to think the Good Ol Red Devil (mean red devil more like it) is going to hit this out of the ball park completely. 

On walking out of the doctors office I ran into Heather (all at RE/MAX will know who she is) who was having an appointment with my doctor right after me. She was scheduled for treatment as well. On arriving at the chemo room I sat down and got 'plugged in'  and to my surprise Heather was actually seated to sit next to me. It was so nice to have a familiar face nearby where we chatted about our ailments and life in general...and also to the ladies accross from us..

Hair Today - Gone Today?

That is the question...
I was considering chopping whats left of my locks off 2nite.
For those of you that have seen me - I have been sporting a 'poor boy' beanie due to my hair looking like such a state in the last week. My hair looks like Yolandi Visser...most of you won't know who she is. Google it - it may be the worst hair do you have ever seen! If I had to explain in - it's similar to a mullet gone wrong. With all the chemo over the last 7 months- I lost about 3/4 of my hair and as mentioned in the posts previously it has grown out kind of awkwardley whereas my other hair is super thin and rather much lacking at the back! Now everytime I look in the mirror I feel so saddened - I don't know why. It just gets me down a bit so I think I am going to chop it off before it starts falling out hectically. I want to feel like I am in control. Enough of this 'is it going to fall out or isn't it crap' - It's been going for over 7 months already!
Yesterday I found out about my massive organised fundraiser - I thank you all for the immense (unexpected) support. Everyone has been so amazing and so supportive - when I think about it I just feel so amazingly overwhelmed. When talking to my other half last night I just couldn't explain what I feel with such support - and he certainly couldn't help either. It's just so big! I thank you all for the helping hand. There just arn't words to describe how I feel. I'm still over joyed about the first one really!