Thursday, July 28, 2011

my world has gone crazy

Feeling overwhelmed is a bit of a understatement at the moment - so much happening and going on!
My Last treatment has finally come and gone and I am feeling more human again (other than the immense tiredness as usual) - yay!

I felt a bit lost leaving the chemo room - it's quite a strange feeling. The nurses were saying how I was almost part of the furniture I had been there so long. The 1 thing I liked about getting chemo (and probably the only thing) had to be speaking to new and old patients. On my last session there was a middle aged lady who came in half way through my session who was incredibly emotional and kept crying - this was me just a year ago so I decided to talk to her. I gave her tips, told my story and at the end of it gave her some hope and positivity. She messaged me a few days later hoping to talk again as I had given her a good outlook on the whole situation and whenever she is to go through a tough time she will just think of my friendly smile. There is nothing more rewarding hearing that kind of thing. That 's why I enjoy working with Breast Buddies :)

So just 2 days after my ghastly chemo I was laying with the hideous after effects of chemo and marathon watching Greys Anatomy when I noticed some 'animal' looking hair that is continuously stuck on my face. Didn't think 2 much of it until I came to wash my hair - Oh M Geeeeeeeee I am loosing my hair again. Insert swear word here please. Seriously?? My last treatment and this glorious thing happens? I was considering sporting the 'pixie look' the following week. Meh – there goes that idea.

Ok - now let me just tell you that everything written above this line is now officially old - my life has taken another big giant U turn and things are still now dragging out. 

3 weeks ago (yes I know it's been very long since I last wrote) I visited my new plastic surgeon Dr. Hilde Meyer. She looked me over and scheduled me for the 27th of July for my double mastectomy. It became a bit of a reality slap right there and then. This whole entire process has an eventual end and I was almost there! It was so incredibly scary. Everything had been done in stages - I finished my chemo and now I'm about to have my lady bits lobbed off. I'd been excited to have everything cut out of me (being the cancer) but now this feeling was something entirely different. It was reality.

Next issue coming up would be my CT scan. I arrived there prompt and early meeting my mom and drinking that hideous liquid that 1 has to drink before the scan. It seems my veins have officially gone on strike because it took them about 35 mins to find a vein. Can you say human pin cushion? was really sore! Anyways - skipping to the results part. My breast lesions is now down to 1.9 (started off at about 3.3) and my liver lesions shrunk a fraction as well. I was happy - although a bit disappointed that it wasn't more. On my way to visiting a friend having chemo that day my doctors associate called me saying 'congrats on the scan however sorry - We want to delay your operation and push you just 2 more treatments because your liver mets shrunk a little bit’ (comparing to the last time where it didn't). Altho this is all good news I was a bit upset in some ways. Thought I had kicked the red devil away for quite some time. So now I start chemo again and my op is pushed aside till this hurdle is over (once again).

Onto further news - Last Friday was officially the worst day ever for 2011. Not only was our loyal family boxer dog 'Roxy' in the animal hospital for tearing a muscle in her leg and being in the utmost pain but at about 3pm I received the worlds worst phone call saying 'We're at the hospital - mom has been diagnosed with endometrial cancer'. Of all the people in the world - why does it have to be the most kind hearted people who ever walked across the face of the planet? She was scheduled for an emergency hysterectomy for Monday morning first thing. That whole weekend felt like an emotional blur - physically and emotionally I was done. Many people who were close to me were done. Cancer is an incredibly scary deal and it’s starting to scare the s*it out of my family.

Monday morning my mom was taken into hospital where her gynae explained the procedure to us. They would take her whole uterus out as well as the fat and glands that surrounded it. After hearing the news update that the doctor said he had taken everything out I felt a hell of a lot more better. All we had to do was wait on the pathology reports to hear how far it spread and then hear the outcome of everything ie treatment. We got the results back now but they don’t reveal 2 much other than the fact that she’s incredibly lucky. The cancer spread just to her uterus wall and no further.

It's incredibly weird how everything happened but she is ever so lucky. The story kind of goes like this. After my CT scan my mother went in to her weigh less class where she had heard a story of somebody who had been spotting for over 2 years and they didn't bother to check it out. Turns out they had a very rare form of cancer. My mom had been spotting for 2 months but not continuously – she had a pap smear just 2 months or so before and everything was in the clear. On hearing this story she went back to the doctor asking what was the reason for the spotting if she was in the clear? The doctor examined her only to find 1 big mess inside. Meraculously the doc called the gynae at Panorama for a further check up and to take some tests and she managed to get an immediate booking that had just been cancelled. Normally you wait 3 months for this kind of thing…On getting results back of course she got the big news and was rushed off for a CT scan.

It’s weird that we both sitting with this kind of thing now. Never heard of 2 family members having cancer at the same time. Sure – she’s off a lot better as she stands right now but can you imagine if she has to have chemo too? She’ll only be hearing about whether she will have treatment in about 4 weeks but luckily I have been scheduled in with her oncologist on Monday so I plan on poking and prodding her for answers :-p

Thank you to all the people who have shown their support in this last crappy week – it’s meant a lot to me and my family.