That is the question...
I was considering chopping whats left of my locks off 2nite.
For those of you that have seen me - I have been sporting a 'poor boy' beanie due to my hair looking like such a state in the last week. My hair looks like Yolandi Visser...most of you won't know who she is. Google it - it may be the worst hair do you have ever seen! If I had to explain in - it's similar to a mullet gone wrong. With all the chemo over the last 7 months- I lost about 3/4 of my hair and as mentioned in the posts previously it has grown out kind of awkwardley whereas my other hair is super thin and rather much lacking at the back! Now everytime I look in the mirror I feel so saddened - I don't know why. It just gets me down a bit so I think I am going to chop it off before it starts falling out hectically. I want to feel like I am in control. Enough of this 'is it going to fall out or isn't it crap' - It's been going for over 7 months already!
Yesterday I found out about my massive organised fundraiser - I thank you all for the immense (unexpected) support. Everyone has been so amazing and so supportive - when I think about it I just feel so amazingly overwhelmed. When talking to my other half last night I just couldn't explain what I feel with such support - and he certainly couldn't help either. It's just so big! I thank you all for the helping hand. There just arn't words to describe how I feel. I'm still over joyed about the first one really!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
For those of you who are not aware - I started my new treatment last Wednesday. Wow is this a whole nother ball game!!! I hate it :(
My day started at 9am getting down to the chemo room. I was bombarded by all the friendly faces of nurses who openly greeted me with hugs. It was kind of weird considering I hadn't been here for 2 weeks now.
I was seated now on the other side of the room (seen that trials happens towards the back) and of course lost 'my chair' that all the staff had known was mine. The nurses began to tell me of all the new side effects I would feel with this new drug nicknamed Red Devil.
As soon as they had got me linked to my line I felt this wave of nausea -suddenly I wasn't so excited to start the new treatment.It slowly subsided a bit and got better. The rest of the treatment took about 2 hours (alot quicker than the old treatment).
I went home feeling a bit normal and then it suddenly hit me. Immense nausea and tiredness. I was so nauseas that every time I even thought of food or heard the fridge open I was naar to my stomach. I was staying at my mom because she was off work for 2 weeks. Nobody takes better care of you than good ol mom :) The only downside to this is my mom loves to watch the cooking channels......eeeeew.
3 days later I am slowly starting to feel normal again. Extremely weak with litrally no energy and I'm eating marmite toast/ bland fruit alot more easily now. yay me!
Just gotta take it a day at a time I guess. Really didn't think it would knock it out of me so much.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Ok - so cycle 8 didn't quite start at all...
I had a CT scan last Thursday and when I went the next day for my chemo the doctors put an immediate stop to my treatment. The primary source (in my breast) has grown a bit so it appears my body is growing immune to it all. I was supposed to start the new Red Devil Treatment today but alas - my medical aid hasn't finished authorizing my meds for chemo. Medical Aids in general make my blood boil (grrrrrr). I was supposed to start treatment STAT but apparently Discovery has had a back log and a half of work to authorize.I am now stopping stressing for the day/ weekend and going to try enjoy a weekend until the drama starts up again next week ;) My body/ immune system deserves a bit of a break!
I had a wrap up session with the Trials team this week - I'm so sad to leave them! All the nurses and doctors are absolutely amazing. It's also a bit stressful having to rely on my medical aid paying for everything - before the trials paid for everything. Just got to hope and pray that it all works out I guess!