Monday, September 12, 2011

Hard hitting realities

Still awaiting dates from doctors -
I however got a call from my plastic surgeon this morning. I don't know how I'm going to get through this but basically my plastic surgeon dosn't want to go ahead with the reconstruction part of my surgery. My doctors concerns are that the radiation treatment is going to ruin my new 'works of art' and do some strange things to my skin by completely changing the shape as well as making the surgery longer than 4 hrs long putting myself at danger for the cancer spreading. Studies basically show that if a patient is open on the table longer thean 4 hours the cancer is known to metastisze further.
It's come as such a big shock because all this time I have thought - 'it'll all be fine - I'll wake up with new boobs like nothing ever happend'. Not anymore....I'm really scared at the reality of it all. I know it's all for my good but since becoming a woman I was always told I had the best boobs around. I never saw them as perfect (a little 2 big for me) but they were one of the better features I have. Ok - that sounds terrible.
Some how I just have to convince myself that it's not permanent for long and that eventually down the line I will have new breasts. If I were much older I don't think this would be an emotional and mental issue. Just got to get my mind around it all and lean on everyone for support.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Bye Bye chemo!

I really am getting bad at updating my posts lately. Just so much been happening! Birthdays, events,moms never ends.

I had my last chemo last Monday and is officially my last chemo I can say this time. So once again we close this chapter and move onto the next step. Dates still to be finalised with my team of doctors.

Yesterday I went for my CT scan to see where we were all going. Sadly - there was no more
shrinking but we did come across a sneaky new thing that has arisen. I now have newcomers
to my lungs (not cancer) but blood clots. My doc seems to think it's from my port so they are 
going to take that out when I have my mastectomy done. Nice news huh? came completely 
by surprise. I now have to inject myself every night in the stomach up until my op. Hopefully 
they will work their way out in the next few weeks but just have to keep our eyes out for it in
the meantime. Last night was my first time having to inject myself but Nigel stepped up to the
plate and said he wanted to do it for me. Bless his soul. We psyched ourselves up for ages and
youtubed (don't laugh - there was no nurse available at the chemist) how to inject yourself because we simply had no clue. Eventually we did it and we both lived to tell the story :-p wasn't so bad after all.

As nervous as I am still about having this major op I will be excited to have this over with. After my op  (about 4 weeks after) my doctor wants to send me for RFDA treatement which is basically sticking a probe in my side and 'microwaving' the spot while I'm under. My doctor seems to think I'll be fine for a while. Just have to have regular check ups to see if theres re occurence in my liver. Need to get into a nice fitness and eating regime and include all the necessary supplements. It's weird I'm excited for everything to put it behind me but yet I'm kind of scared because I know I'm going to be a hypocondriac thinking everything will be cancer related. How does 1 get through that?

While I was going through my last treatment last week - 2 days later my mother had her first. She seemed alright at first but 2 days later it knocked her for a 6. Achey bones, nausea, extreme headaches, dizzy spells and very low BP. Felt so bad for her because I didn't get it that bad. I am glad it's all out and this chemo for her is all precautionary but seems so brutal for something that isn't there. 

Our BreastBuddies Mad Hatters Tea was such a wonderful success. I think everyone had some fun. Thank you to all who helped out. We met lots of new wonderful people and made some great contacts to carry on spreading awareness.