Hard hitting realities

Still awaiting dates from doctors -

I however got a call from my plastic surgeon this morning. I don't know how I'm going to get through this but basically my plastic surgeon dosn't want to go ahead with the reconstruction part of my surgery. My doctors concerns are that the radiation treatment is going to ruin my new 'works of art' and do some strange things to my skin by completely changing the shape as well as making the surgery longer than 4 hrs long putting myself at danger for the cancer spreading. Studies basically show that if a patient is open on the table longer thean 4 hours the cancer is known to metastisze further.

It's come as such a big shock because all this time I have thought - 'it'll all be fine - I'll wake up with new boobs like nothing ever happend'. Not anymore....I'm really scared at the reality of it all. I know it's all for my good but since becoming a woman I was always told I had the best boobs around. I never saw them as perfect (a little 2 big for me) but they were one of the better features I have. Ok - that sounds terrible.

Some how I just have to convince myself that it's not permanent for long and that eventually down the line I will have new breasts. If I were much older I don't think this would be an emotional and mental issue. Just got to get my mind around it all and lean on everyone for support.