Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I had to giggle at myself driving the other day. I was getting ready for work the other day and on my way 2 blocks down the road I look down and notice I'm ever so lopsided on my chest. I forgot my fake boob at home. This was something I simply had to go back home and fetch - my 'deformed' form would never go un noticed!

Theres moments like this and onces where I loose it in my house because if it's too hot I just whip it out and throw it somewhere. Then, just as I am about to go out I'm frantically looking for it. The thought came across to many girls I know growing up and saying 'If only books were detachable' - naaaaah. No thanks. Here - have this one!

With this hot weather it's a bit torturous at times. It's either so hot to have the prosthesis is/ not being able to wear low cut tops & dresses outside of home and not being able to wear a swimsuit so I can take a dip in a a friends pool. Think I might invest in a surfers rash top so I can maybe go to the beach or swim at my moms place if I have the need.

With the new year upon us it made me think quite a bit about what I want out of this year - something has gotta change and fast. I see this year as a fresh start where my 'clock' goes back to the beginning and I can make some change for the months ahead. I may be freakishly unfit but that's got to change - I started doing a bit of walking to get slowly fit. I'm eating a bit better and trying to make changes in my life for the good.

In a conversation the other day with my better half we were talking about the last year and a half we have been through. It's been bladey rough for us and now we're just trying to look forward and hope for the best. The thing is - it's better said than done. It's not so easy to 'undefine' yourself
because now I have the challenge of staying cancer free, I want to write my book and we're going to have to get through this lawsuit as well. It's not something you can just transform from - it's a very long process and what I have been through has defined who I am majorly now. It's quite strange.

I'm sitting with the frustrations at the moment with my Medical Aid - nothing in the world makes me as stressed out as them. My doctor wanted me to have a PET scan done in this month 
so we can define what my treatment plan will be. Discovery calls me yesterday and says 'sorry, your application got declined because there is nobody in the western cape who can carry out this scan on the network.' Uh hem - excuse me? What would I have to do in order to get one? ' Well - you would have to live in Pretoria or Joburg'. I beg your parden? How is it that Nobody in CT has ever needed to have a PET scan done here? Regardless of things I called my broker up 
to sort it all out - my nerves are shot every time I speak to them.  I feel like I am dealing with  complete bafoons. Not a chance I can afford about R20 000 for a scan!


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