{insert swear word here}

I fear I am not a 'robocop' and infact my hair is thinning out Beeeeeeeg time. I comb my hair every morning with the utmost precautions over the sink and every morning I swear infront of the mirror hoping it's just my hair thinning and not actually falling out. 'Maybe just maybe it'll stop doing this' I tell myself. 3 months later seems a bit delayed compared to the normal 'after one treatment'. Suppose if it happens it happens but a young womens hair is more than you think. The silver lining : goodbye damaged hair hello healthier hair???? ...Always trying for a positive side. I tried :p

On another note I am starting on my 4th cycle of treatment (every month is a cycle) but I think my body (and hair) is starting to feel it now. I feel more and more tired lately and I'm finding I need my naps - can't concentrate to save my life either it seems when I reach mid day.

Have a good weekend all :)

and so it continues...

I got a bit of a surprise yesterday when at treatment. It turns out it's not 3 months long but 6 instead! 

The trials department seems a bit confused and now I will be continuing the 'journey' to get better..

I'm definately not against it because I am certainly hoping that it 'zaps' the rest of the cancer away but it does leave me a bit worried about work. I am only working 3x a week and I am basically out of leave by now. It's a bit worrying but it's the least of my worries I suppose...

Feeling good today - just a bit drained so doing stuff from bed and listening to some good tunes...

Man (Lady) Down!!

No treatment yesterday - extremely ill with flu. Let me tell you something - it knocks you big time!!

My blood count for the first time ever was pretty bad. White blood cells were sky high. 

Was no option really - doc basically told me I will definately be in hospital within a few days if I did go through treatment. It's not a good thing at all but we'll take it as it comes.

People, if you are sick - please don't consider me rude if I run for the hills. Trust me - don't want to feel this sick ever again in my life.

It's still a very unsureal thing - having breast cancer and all...Here I am almost through my treatment and all  and I'm still thinking 'how odd of this to happen to me'.

After the good news last week I can't but help think that my body is under a lot of pressure to be fighting off the last of the dreaded 'c'. My doctors find the chances slim for going back to 0%  cancer free but I'll show them ;) I have already surprised them so far so let's keep on going! I'm loading up on the vitamins, good vibes and healthy food as much as possible! I hear so many stories of people going the natural route using herbs/ only organic food/ ozone therapy etc but my doctors won't have any of it. Suppose I better listen to them otherwise I'll get myself kicked off the trial.

I'm still not sure whats going to happen to me after the trial but I'm crossing my fingers for good things. I hate how I don't know - it's complete torture! All I know is I need my 'liquid gold' for another year. I think after my chemo I need a mini getaway with my better half. I just want to get away knowing I don't have to have blood taken today/ injections/ resting or be prepping myself for chemo.

I got the sweetest message the other day from an agent saying her children wanted to know what I looked like because they pray for me every night. Couldn't help but shed some tears. Thank you so much for the prayers everyone - they honestly mean so much to me. I have had various comments on my blog - thank you readers - I just apologise for my punctuation and spelling!! ;)

Some Front Page news

I have got the best news ever today - My cancer has shrunk 42% :) How awesome is that!?

If it wern't for my liver right now - I think I'd grab a bottle of champers and drink to the special news. So to all those reading this - you know what to do :p

So I went for the CT scan and for those of you who don't know thats where they scan your whole bodyand they inject some Iodine into your blood stream so they can see the effetced areas. They then run you through this 'hoop' and they get the images from there. Well I went for mine and lucky me (not) some Iodine dripped out of the vein. I went for treatment - looked down at my arm and saw it was twice the size and couldn't even bend my arm. Suppose I can live with the swollen arm though :)

Oh , see my results below for those of you that are interested. Have an awesome long weekend and thanks for all the support!!!

old diameter of cancer:165.4mm (the leisions are measured all together)

new diameter 95.3 :)


here is the breakdown


breast: it was 33.3 - now 29.5
lymph node: was 12.6mm - now 11.8mm
segment 8 liver: 43.7mm - now 21.1mm
segment 7 liver: 25.0mm - 12.8mm
segment 8 liver: 29.7mm - now 16.1mm
segment 4 liver :21.1mm now 4mm :)


so significantly my liver is a lot better overall - yay!!!!!!

1/2 way there ;)

Time has gone by so fast - can't believe I'm already 1/2 way through already (If I'm lucky of course).

Last Thursday was a reeeeeeeeally good day. My doctor examined me and she seems to think that the tumour has definately shrunk (± 1.3cm roughly - it was measured at 3.35) and the tissue is much softer than what is was. I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch but my scan is on the 21st of this month  - it would really suck if I got my hopes up for nothing but positive we shall remain!! It certainly made a bunch of peoples day :)

Adding to the great news I had no bad reactions either (yay!!) The doctors were a bit concerned that they would have to move me over onto something but then realised that I might be reacting to the steroids and premeds instead of the chemo so they spaced the time periods out longer and vwalah!! no reactions :) All in all a good day.

No serious symptoms this week - just out of breath and a bit tired and for some reason my port is pinching big time. Always have to be careful with it - I have heard so many stories where the port has come loose and was found in the other lung or blood clots have caused harm to it.

For those of you who wonder what the 'daunting' chemo room looks like I snapped a super quick pic of how it looks.

After yet another treatment last week another bad reaction -grrrrrr. It's left me with a rather stressed out week because after having 5 different 'anti' reaction medications for the chemo (which leave me rather high as a kite and on another planet) I still had a bad reaction!!!
I stress that the trial will not want to carry on using me and boot me back to my normal oncologist.

I had quite the depressing weekend. I stayed home the entire weekend (I find it so frustrating) I felt too ill and weak to even sit at friends. I'm not ill to the stage where I'm physically throwing up (thankfully) but there is the fine line that I walk. I either sleep or lay on the couch and watch T.V. - Let's just say I watch an unbelievable amount of the 70's show at the moment ;)

I want to thank everybody who helped raise money for my fundraiser. An unbelievable amount was raised and I am so greatful for all your help, thoughts, prayers and words of wisdom. Thank You Thank You Thank You!!

I'm still as positive as ever and certainly plan on being the next 'Lance Armstrong'. With my brother being an avid lance fan I decided to read the book and it's so empowering to see that someone who was only given a 3% chance to live (after being diagnosed with testicular, brain cancer and lung cancer) is now a world champion and survivor of the dreaded 'c'.